two posts, one day

i’m on spring break. i should be having a great time, but in reality the best part of my break is being with R when he’s not in class/working, and smoking. the work i have to do is unreal. the thought of going back to school fills me with dread. and to top it all off, i decided to start watching 13 reasons why on netflix. honestly, i’m not sure why i’m watching it. it’s not terribly good, and they romanticize mental illness.

what. the. fuck.

we live in a generation where it is okay to think suicide is trendy and we should put a girl killing herself in a tv show. we live in a generation where showing a girl being raped is fine on a tv show. why do we have to glamorize it? it’s not pretty, it’s not cute, it’s not okay to joke about. i am very conflicted about this show. great! it’s bringing awareness to suicide and mental health issues! but when do they talk about that? the show is haunting, but it’s turning into something that i’m sure the producers never intended it to be. i truly had high hopes for this show. they had the chance to really talk about suicide and the impact it makes but instead it became a joke. all of the memes going around? “welcome to your tape” ya okay let’s openly mock suicide. and her parents. oh my god her parents. when i was 16, i was in a worse place than hannah. not to say that she isn’t in a bad place, but like shit i was lower than rock bottom. seeing her parents reminded me of mine, and reminded me why this is so serious. why this shouldn’t be joked about. my mom still can’t listen to the song “gone gone gone” by phillip phillips without crying. and that was five years ago. and i didn’t even die, i lived by some miracle. and i’m glad i did. this show should have done so much. it could have made such an impact. instead it just stirred up old thoughts and memories, and an unbridled anger and sadness at what could have been.

c’est la vie

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